We're Not in AZ anymore, Toto!

Grant County Journal
We’re Not in AZ Anymore, Toto
May 9, 2011
Written by Janet Warren

I am back after five weeks and four days of living out of a suitcase. I am tired and a little cranky. I’m upset at myself because I forgot to send in our grandson’s picture with last week’s column. To try to rectify that mistake and because I had so many requests for it, here is a picture of Ethan Michael Warren, born April 21. I was busy helping my daughter with her twins and new baby, and I lost track of a lot of things. When you’re away from home it is easy to get out of your routine. I hardly even watched the news or read a newspaper. In fact, I think the first time we turned on the news was when someone called to tell us bin Laden had been killed. Imagine my surprise a day or two later when I saw Ephrata Middle School teacher, Gary Weddle, on national news. Someone needs to teach Bill O’Reilly how to pronounce Ephrata. I substitute at the middle school sometimes, and since I’ve only lived in Ephrata less than two years, I didn’t know the story behind the beard. I didn’t think Amish people taught in public schools, but I put it in the back of my mind to research the subject. I’m glad that was cleared up. I was diligent in paying all the bills before I left, but a new set of them came. You can’t put a stop to those things. I was also gone long enough to forget my passwords in order to pay them online. I kept telling Mike to just put them in a pile and I’d take care of it when I got home, but I did miss one due date. It makes me so mad to have to pay a late fee. I’m also mad that gas got up to $4.00 a gallon while I wasn’t paying attention. No wonder I’m cranky. My vow to exercise and keep on my diet went out the window after the first week. My prescriptions ran out, and my roots grew out. Five weeks and four days is a long time to be away from home. However, I got to hold my granddaughter when she was hours old, and I got to know my twin grandsons better. Seth even began to warm up to me by the time I left Arizona for Reno after four weeks and six days. The next five days I spent in Reno where my sister Diane from New Jersey and her son Jeff (age 40) and grandson Dutch (age 4) from Denver converged to spend some time with my parents. Jeff’s back went out and he ended up in the emergency room and then bed for most of those five days. I counseled him that it’s all downhill after 40, because I felt he should know. That’s the kind of aunt I am. Those four weeks and six days spent with my grandchildren in Arizona got me through those very depressing five days of seeing life slip away from my father. I think the next time I see him will be at his funeral. I was beginning to feel like Dorothy. Although I will miss those munchkins, Seth, Noah and Ivy in the land of AZ, I clicked my heels three times as I boarded Southwest Airlines in Reno, bound for Spokane. “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.” We’re going home, Toto, back to my normal life. Next week my columns will get back to normal too. I tell you, it’s difficult to write columns out of a suitcase.